As of late, thoughts of passion and happiness have been at the forefront of my mind. Two years ago, I made myself a promise:
My happiness is the only thing that matters. And, no matter what it costs or what lengths I have to go to, I will always be happy.
Thus far, I’ve stayed 100% true to my promise. Yes, there have been times when I wasn’t thrilled, but I’ve been really good at quickly doing whatever it took to get back to happy.
With that in mind, watching Gary Vaynerchuk’s presentation from Web 2.0 Expo was very apropos. My favorite quote from the presentation, “If you’re ONE percent unhappy, get out. GET OUT NOW.”
Lately, I haven’t been 100% satisfied with my post quality. I think it’s because my left brain is working on over drive looking for that silver bullet. I’m not talking about “the big idea” and I know I’ll never find the silver bullet, but I feel like there’s something right in front of my face that I’m missing. I think we’re all missing it. As a company, we’ve brought in all these “outside” people to help find it. But, these new people are so focused on x, so bogged down in other “things” or so disillusioned by Corporate Processes that they haven’t been able to see y.
I know it’s there. I know it’s staring me in the face and laughing. And, I’m chasing it down the rabbit hole. I feel like the magician who’s pulled scarf after scarf after scarf out of the hat but has yet to reach the rabbit.
I know I’m close. So close I can taste it. I just need a few more days in the rabbit hole. Then, a few days not thinking about it, swimming, running and taking lots of showers. Then… Tada! Silver Bullet!
I seem to write a lot of posts on “things I don’t get”. Maybe I’ll start a series. Anyway here’s some from this week:
Everyone’s complete inability to follow simple instructions. My voice mail clearly and repeatedly states that if you reach it, follow up via email at xxxxxx@company.com. I even spell the email address out letter by letter. Yet, maybe one out of ten people do so. If you don’t listen to voice mails on a regular basis, why do you think I do? If you’re cold calling for new business, why not make a good first impression by following instructions? If you can’t follow my voice mail instructions, there’s no hope for you completing my business requests in a timely and accurate fashion.
Getting bogged down in details. If someone asks you for an outline, an over-arching strategy or a top-level summary, why harp on the minor details? Do the details later. They’re asking for a summary because that’s all they want and have time to read. Moreover, they give a flying f*ck about the details; someone else on their team worries about stuff like that.
Incorrectly referencing assets. You created the damn thing! You named the file “x”. Why are you sending me “y” and asking if this is the format I want?! NO. I want format “x”. I even attached an example. Yet, you STILL asked what format I wanted and thought I was referencing a completely different format. WTF.
Laziness. I half get this one; if someone else will do it, why bother? But, give me a break. Get off your ass and do… gasp… your job! I’ve been waiting FIVE months to have my logo switched out. Come to find out you never put in the request, yet were blaming it on another department’s inefficiencies. And no, you did not forget about it. It is at the top of my agenda EVERY week.
There’s never one surefire way to accomplish a task. But, consider this…
Twitter has been alive and kicking since 2006. Thanks to some big brands joining and a few other newsworthy events (i.e. the World Series), it broke to the middle of the bleeding edge in early 2008; two years after it launched. But, in terms of usage, Twitter is having trouble breaking the bleeding edge let alone into the mainstream.
The key to breaking that edge? Reach the Greek Community.
Think about it. The college generation is the only age group still susceptible enough to peer pressure and around large and diverse enough groups of peers for them to take something mainstream. In addition, whether the college has a strong focus on Greek Life or Student Government, every campus has a large, outspoken group of students that have the ability to quickly reach thousands. Not only are these groups opinionated, but they also have an unspoken pact to support worthwhile activities of other members. Hence, whether peers “get it” or not, they’ll still join and they’re malleable enough that they quickly will get it.
The change that the bleeding edge envisions? It’s not going to happen with older generations; it’s too “hard” to incorporate it into their lives. It’s going to happen with the generation that’s headed to college. They are the generation large and powerful enough to take something past the bleeding edge. The key to reaching that generation? Start with the leaders. Start with the Greeks.
Agencies like to complain ad nauseum that BDC’s don’t allow them to “do their thing.” But, the new Microsoft campaign is a great example of a BDC (Microsoft) allowing their BDA (CP+B) to do their thing. Let’s take a look at what’s happend thus far:
Campaign sucks. In fact, it sucks so much that Microsoft pretends it was a “teaser” campaign
Funny thing, CP+B lets the cat out of the bag and releases their own announcement about a third ad. Opps! Guess right hand didn’t talk to left hand that day.
BDC doesn’t take care of the details. They didn’t buy www.helloimapc.com nor any other campaign related URLs like www.everyoneisapc.com. They also don’t have a paid search campaign running. Three easy things that take less than 15 minutes to set up.
The thing that floors me? The same thing happened to CP+B two years ago with Burger King’s Big Bucking Chicken Campaign. You think after one time, they would learn.
Companies forget the little details all the time. But, maybe it’s not about forgetting the details. Maybe it’s more about departments within a company being siloed. By not communicating, Department A does not realize the ”little things” that Department B puts into motion. When the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is planning, it can’t put those small, but important, elements into play.
Another great example? In 2007, MGM MIRAGE issued a press release about their latest development, CityCenter. At the time of the release, CityCenter was a $7 billion project being touted as changing the Las Vegas landscape forever. Well, PR never bothered to tell Department B that the release was going out. Guess who hadn’t bought www.citycenter.com. Guess who did. Guess how much MGM MIRAGE had to pay for something that would have cost less than $10.
If you take care of the “little” things, nothing ever becomes a “big” thing.
I still haven’t figured out what victory smells like. Probably something gross like dirt and sweat. But, the taste of victory? Well, it’s a mix of cherries and peanut butter with a hint of nutty chocolate.
Today’s victory was especially sweet as it has been nine long months coming. It’s been nine months of fighting. Nine months of adamantly saying “no” to everyone, including the President. It’s been nine months of going against the grain, disagreeing with the status quo and shaking things up. It’s been nine months of being “tenacious,” which is the politically correct way of saying, “nagging bitch” until everyone got on board. Thank god it worked. Thank god my boss is insanely supportive. Thank god the Boss Man stood behind every. single. one. of my arguments (even when he didn’t believe them himself).
The sweetest part is that the validation came in the form of 68%. That’s a hot number to take anyone down with. But, when you take all your competitors down, including the Green Monster, well victory doesn’t get much sweeter than that.
The funny thing? I felt like a Rockstar for about an hour. Then, I decided 68% wasn’t good enough. I want more. That’s my “downfall”… Nothing is ever good enough; I just can’t be satisfied.
Since I wrote about the Conference Man, it’s only fair that I write about the Conference Woman; I don’t want to seem sexist or anything like that. Like men, women love conferences for basically the same reasons - free booze, getting egos stroked, escaping from an overbearing boss, oh yeah, and maybe learning a few new things. So, let’s break down the Conference Woman:
The Know It All. She is the person who grabs the microphone at every possibility. She goes on and on about the cool/perfect/correct things her team is doing and then finally gets to some convoluted question using really big words. By the second day of the conference, everyone in the audience groans inwardly and shakes their head when this person is handed the mic. (Note: This one can swing male or female.)
The Inappropriate Woman. Similar to the male version, but she’s the one wearing the CFM boots, the mini skirt and insanely low cut shirt… all at the same time. If it’s not appropriate at the office, why would it be appropriate at a work event? While she might get more horizontal action, nobody respects her.
The Desperate Slut. She leans a little too close to each guy she speaks to. She laughs a little too hard at Old Guy’s pitiful jokes. She pretends to be completely drunk and asks for help back to her room. Ultimately, she nabs a different Old Guy hook, line and sinker every night.
The Laid Back Chick. This type is only infamous with the other women. Without a hint of makeup, she effortlessly has all the men hanging on her every word! Managing to command a presence in jeans, flip flops and a white T-shirt, she’s the envy of every woman in the room. Damn her!
A Back Alley Friend is something I hope everyone has. If you’re really lucky, you have more than one. I have a lot of friends. I have a handful of best friends and I have two Back Alley Friends.
I learned about Back Alley Friends on the last month of my senior year of college. Before then, they existed, I just didn’t have a name nor a great, succient story on how to explain them:
A Back Alley Friend is the person you call on a Tuesday at 3am to meet you in some back alley in 10 minutes and they say, ”I’ll be there in five.”
It’s a funny story and we’ve all probably experienced it in one form or the other. But, when you literally call someone on a weekday at 2am and say, “I need you” with no explanation, the person who gets out of bed, heads to the airport and gets on the next flight to whatever city you’re in… well, that’s a true Back Alley Friend. I’m glad I have one of those.
I have a lot of rules. I also get a lot of shit for having them. My “always have an escape route” rule is usually a fan favorite. You’d think my “no sex on holidays” rule would be much more laughable, but apparently not. Personally, I think having an escape route is pretty damn practical.
Escape routes. Whether it be knowing the back exit from the bathroom, having a call from a friend (or fake friend) lined up or not inviting newly met guys back to your place, you not only should have an escape route, you need one.
While I swear I’ll never break x rule again, the reality is I probably will. I also like pushing myself out of comfort zones and old habits. But, this time I pushed too far. Not only did I push too far, but not having an escape route was neither smart nor safe. So, laugh at me all you want. An escape route is definitely one rule I’m keeping for a LONG time. It’s a comfort zone I’d rather stay in.
We all love work conferences. They are an excuse to drink lots of alcohol, say funny things, get out of the office on the company’s dime and maybe learn a thing or two. So, what does the conference going male look like? Let’s breakdown some of the most infamous types:
The Liar. Hello! We all work in interactive marketing. Your information is public on LinkedIn. If, for some very strange reason it’s not, a quick Google search gets you most of the information. Going to the public, but not well known “journalism” sites will get you the rest. So… DON’T LIE.
The Completely Inappropriate Guy. There’s three people who can tell a girl she’s wearing CFM boots. (1) Her girl friend (2) Her Office Boyfriend (3) Her “Clients” if she’s a hooker. You are not one or two and I am far from being three.
The Creepy Guy. He’s nice, but damn, is he creeeeepppppyyy. You know, the one that lurks around and always seems to be following you? If he’s uber creepy, he somehow finds out your room number and comes a-knocking… more than once.
The Old Guy who Wants to Hook Up. This is the guy version of a Cougar. Totally acceptable at a bar. But at a work conference? Not so much. Especially when the girl says, “NO”.
Yes, there are several others. There are even the “good” types. But, writing about those wouldn’t be any fun would they?
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