This is a rant. You’ve been forewarned.
I AM SICK AND TIRED of people whining, “no one’s figured out social media ROI yet.”
I got news for you buddy… YES, we have. It may not be a download-able report like your display campaign, but oh yes, the ROI of social has been discovered. In case you missed it, it was hiding under the purple rock.
So, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Stop using that as an excuse or an easy way out. Just because you can’t figure it out, doesn’t mean others haven’t. Stop dumbing down the industry.
As I’m reading along today, I’ve come across many “ridiculously easy” solutions to all my problems. Here’s just a few:
Screw the Stakeholders web design requests. Just have an empowered web strategist.
Really? Oh, okay. Let me whip that right up. Even if your web strategist is empowered, I’d like to see them sit in a room of 20 HIPPOs, powerfully say, ”no” to all their requests AND be able to follow through with that “no’. Yeah… I’m still waiting…
SEO is the easiest way to get traffic. Make your site SEO friendly, get inbound links and POOF!
Really? Oh, okay. Let me whip that right up. Two hours later? Magic! I have hundreds of thousands of inbound links. Oh! And look! My site ranks #1 for my brand name and category. Wow, that sure was easy.
Give me an F*ing break. Statements like these piss me off. Statements like these make my job harder. Statements like these only make HIPPOS more deluded. Oh yea, and statements like these give NO thought to the OPERATIONAL implications.
Sure, I can implement an SMS platform in under a day, but how’s it going to work operationally? Yea… you forgot to think about that 
Operational thinking may equal a wet blanket, but, someone has to do it. I CANNOT stress enough the importance of thinking about things OPERATIONALLY. Otherwise, your brilliant campaign is going to fall flat on its ass.
The study that has everyone ohhh and ahhh’ing this week? Well ladies and gentlemen, it’s: iPhone Users Recall Ads 21% better than non-iPhone users.
To this I have one word: DUH.
Let’s think:
- iPhone users only see ONE ad at a time
- The ad is big, colorful and annoying. Think pop-up ads when they first debuted
- If you’re a non-iPhone user the chance of your browser being configured to javascript and html is low. What does this mean? It means all you see is ugly, text based stuff aka no big, colorful ad
On a non-sarcastic note, I am both a heavy iPhone and Blackberry user. If I want a “pretty” experience, I use my iPhone. If I have time to play around, I use my iPhone. If I want a great user experience, I use my iPhone. If I want black and white, down and dirty data? I use my Blackberry. Aside from the “duh’s” above, I think it’s the way phone users are conditioned- your Blackberry user is the finance/analyst/legal person inside you. The iPhone user? Well, they are the artist/marketing/creative thinker inside of you.
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