I know that real life is never like the movies. I know that things don’t always go as planned or desired, even when you try your hardest, make sacrifices or do something that scares you. Yet, I still believe in butterflies. Maybe it’s my way of saying you always have to be happy and passionate about what you’re doing.
Interestingly (or naively), I thought that the butterflies always had to feel the same. I felt my first butterflies long ago and thought, “all butterflies must feel like this.” For years, I kept chasing after that same feeling; trying to recreate that first time.
Maybe you already knew, but today, I’m coming to the shocking conclusion that all butterflies feel different. And, surprisingly, if you let them, the different types of butterflies feel pretty cool and just as amazing as that first time. I’ve also learned that while you can’t find or force butterflies, you can open yourself up to letting them in. If you’re not open to feeling different types of butterflies, then you might be missing out on some amazing experiences.
While I’m not convinced that “time heals all wounds,” I am convinced that time does help you overcome anything. This year, many anniversaries came, went and left me unscathed. Who knows, maybe a tiger really can change their stripes. And maybe, just maybe, good things continue to fall apart so GREAT things can fall together. And yes, no matter what, you have to believe that the best is yet to come.
I’m always experimenting with something. This post happens to be part of the 10 Guys, 10 Drinks, 10 Weeks experiment. You can see the others here. Enjoy the laughs, I sure am!
Guy #8. Drink #8. Week #8. Originally, I was excited about this one. It was going to be my first night at Surrender and the first local guy that I actually kind of liked. But, James and I stumbled into a second date and ended the night here. So, James popped my Surrender cherry, and boy did that night live up to the club’s name.
Unfortunately, between the experiences with James and THE guy, Mark (not his real name) didn’t stand a chance. The drink? Vodka and cranberry vitamin water. Sadly, both the drink and the guy were a bust. And the club? Well, it’s amazing how different a place can be depending on the people you’re with.
And me? Well, the original plan was to surrender to something I knew nothing about it. But, old habits and wants die hard. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what #9 brings.
I’m always experimenting with something. This post happens to be part of the 10 Guys, 10 Drinks, 10 Weeks experiment. You can see the others here. Enjoy the laughs, I sure am!
Guy #7. Drink #7. Week #7. Similar to Week 6, I have another confession. It’s not really week 7. I finally decided to pick up where I left off. Maybe not for the right reasons, but this time I’m determined to give it a real go vs. just a silly game. I’m tough. There are few guys that I take seriously enough to care whether they stay or go. But, James (not his real name) just might be different. James is smart, playful, laid back and a party animal all rolled into one. I’m also not sure what to do with him. Most guys I know. Most guys you flirt, have fun and by the end of the night are bored enough to not care what happens next or the next day. But, with James I kind of care.
The drink? His choice – Cafe Patron. He says it’s so good you can shower in it. I disagree. While good, I think I’ll pass on this one. But, the guy? Well, lucky #7 is the first time I chose the guy over the drink.
I started 10 Guys, 10 Drinks, 10 Weeks for almost all the wrong reasons. I stopped it for (what I thought were) all the right reasons. I tired of the project when I was 60% complete. Today, I think it’s time to bring it back for all the right reasons. And, what better week than this week? This week, I’m reinventing myself… new title, new dress, new hair cut and color. Plus, I’m thinking of going straight vs. curly on a semi-permanent basis. Sometimes, you need a little reinvention to remember who you are.
It’s short. It’s immediate. It’s all things I can do on my own… no “better half” needed, you know, just in case 
- See the Northern Lights
- Visit London, Greece and Ireland
- Cross off a few more items on my sex list
- Visit the Warhol museum
- Spend my last days in St. Thomas on a beach, near the ocean
Short, sweet, simple and easily doable. I’m sure there’s more, but I like to keep my lists to five or less.
Aside from all my gripes with BDA’s, I finally narrowed it down to the three main reasons why I dislike ‘em so:
- Nothing’s done on a handshake. Everything is a process. It’s corporate. I hate corporate bullshit.
- There’s always an over-the-top anal-retentive AM assigned to your account. Someone, somewhere thinks this is the perfect fit for Vegas Clients. It’s not. These people never survive Vegas. Ever.
- You never talk to the people who are really working on your shit. Those people are locked in a dungeon somewhere, never allowed to interact with you. The result? Lots of things are lost in translation on both sides.
And this folks, is why I will always choose the small, creative shop and internal help over a BDA.
I like to believe that life is a series of moments. I call them rides. People come into your life for a reason. And sometimes, as painful as it is, they also go. Sometimes, they come back, but not often.
Matt came into my life to teach me about first loves. He also taught me that white picket fence realities weren’t real.
Christopher taught me the unconditional love of a mom. He taught me I was breakable, but that I could also put myself back together.
Rory. Oh, where to begin? He taught me about real sex and friendship. Most importantly, he taught me about the people who come into your life for periods of time to fill a void. I filled a void for him and he for me. A true “friend in need is a friend indeed” scenario. I could never say it to his face, but I loved him. I loved him for the man I watched him become.
And then there’s Mr. M. He was one moment that thankfully lasted longer than I ever imagined. The ride I took with him was one I broke a lot of rules for. But, my heart rarely listens to my head and is stubborn enough to always gamble it all. As many rules as I broke, I wouldn’t change a thing. The bumps, the broken rules, the things that went wrong, helped me appreciate when things went oh, so right. Who knows, maybe we’ll meet again on another ride.
The one lesson I remind myself each time? Even if the moments are short, you never have to stop loving the rides taken and wishing those who took them with you happiness.
I’m always searching for answers. Maybe it’s the kid in me. When I was little, my mom used to say, “The answer machine is broken” after I had asked “why” too many times. Maybe it’s the writer/journalist in me. Maybe it’s a girl thing. Maybe it’s a me thing. Either way, I’ve always liked getting to the root of things. Maybe it’s why I’m good at analytics and forecasting… I dig and dig and dig until I find the root of the issue.
Sometimes though, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to not have all the answers. This post reminds me that sometimes, the answers that you think you need aren’t what you need at all. But, I sure as hell still want them… that’s the part of me that enjoys the harsh reality of honesty
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I know that real life is never like the movies. I know that things don’t always go as planned or desired, even when you try your hardest, make sacrifices or do something that scares you. Yet, I still believe in butterflies. Maybe it’s my way of saying you always have to be happy and passionate about what you’re doing.
Themocracy