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By Vegasbab, July 24, 2011 9:05 pm

But I am. I am lost.

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By Vegasbab, July 6, 2011 8:39 pm

Where there’s a will there’s a way. Where there’s passion, there’s a way.

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By Vegasbab, June 4, 2011 10:58 am

I’ve read Sheryl Sandberg’s speech to graduates several times this week. I even posted it on my Tumblr. The advice reminds me of something Penelope Trunk would say. The advice is powerful and it hits home, especially for me, especially right now. While the advice is geared to women, it’s applicable to men too.

Women almost never make one decision to leave the workforce. It doesn’t happen that way. They make small little decisions along the way that eventually lead them there. Maybe it’s the last year of med school when they say, I’ll take a slightly less interesting specialty because I’m going to want more balance one day. Maybe it’s the fifth year in a law firm when they say, I’m not even sure I should go for partner, because I know I’m going to want kids eventually. These women don’t even have relationships, and already they’re finding balance, balance for responsibilities they don’t yet have. And from that moment, they start quietly leaning back… So, my heartfelt message to all of you is, and start thinking about this now, do not leave before you leave. Do not lean back; lean in. Put your foot on that gas pedal and keep it there until the day you have to make a decision, and then make a decision. That’s the only way, when that day comes, you’ll even have a decision to make.

In general, I think we as a society do this all too often, we check out before we have to. We check out because we’re afraid. It’s easier to leave then get left, so we do it before someone can make the decision for us. But, if we’re truly “leaning in,” if we’re passionate and giving everything we have, then why would someone ever ask us to leave? If we’re fully engaged, then the choice, whatever it may be, will always be ours to make.

Here’s to not worrying about what the future may bring and focusing more on keeping our feet firmly on the gas pedal until our next destination has arrived.

Full speech:

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By Vegasbab, May 25, 2011 8:35 pm

A friend of mine has this theory on dating:

There’s the…
Right time, wrong girl
Wrong girl, right time
Right time, no girl

Maybe he’s right. I’ve certainly had all three of those experiences. But, what if what we think is the right time really isn’t? What if there’s something larger than us that knows when the real right time is? The hopeless romantic in me believes there is someone out there for everyone. And, when the time is right, she or he will come into your life, but they won’t be there until then.

Babe- even though you can’t see it, the time isn’t right quite yet, despite however much you want it to be. But, I promise that one day it will be the right time. If and when I see it before you do, I promise to finally like the person you’re dating

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By Vegasbab, May 17, 2011 1:21 pm

Wow. I heard this song for the first time today and it struck me like an anvil to the heart.

Love is a crazy thing. It’s what drives us all, at least, it’s what drives me. From swimming to where I live to what I want to do with my life, love is the driving force behind it all. Ironically, it’s a driving force that is both “poison and wine.” With my acid reflux, it’s doubly ironic, because wine really does act like a poison.

There’s someone (or something) in all of our lives that we “don’t love.” But, in reality, no matter how hard we think we don’t or won’t, we always will.

Song Lyrics:

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don’t want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
Oh you think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don’t have a choice but I still choose you
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
Oh I don’t love you but I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will

The back story to the song as told by the artist:

Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love – that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now – and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone – and the longer you allow someone to know you – the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known. (-Joy Williams, The Civil Wars)

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By Vegasbab, April 1, 2011 8:48 pm

We all struggle to find a balance between living, working and playing. At least, I hope I’m not the only one As a person who takes everything to the extreme and never does anything halfway, I’m honestly struggling to find the right balance. Currently, I’m playing and playing hard all throughout Europe. I’m also trying to work a little. But, it’s hard. Maybe it would be easier if I treated Europe more like I was living here vs. being a tourist. But, when you’re living from hotel to hotel, that’s hard too.

I wonder if we’ll ever find the right balance between living, working and playing.

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By Vegasbab, February 23, 2011 10:22 pm

I’m a big fan of the movie No Strings Attached. To me, it’s the perfect romantic comedy. Tonight, I stumbled upon the below quote from the movie.

If you miss me, you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.

I have a big problem when people say, “I miss you”. In fact, I’ve written about it before. Two years later, my feelings on the phrase haven’t changed. In my opinion, it’s a cop out. If you really miss someone, then do something about it. Jump on a plane and go see them. Otherwise, you don’t really miss them.

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By Vegasbab, February 20, 2011 3:05 pm

I love quotes. Before Tumblr, I collected them in Word documents on my computer. Before computers, I collected them in spiral bound notebooks. Needless to say, I have notebook after notebook and Word doc after Word doc of quotes. My favorite part of your Facebook profile? The favorite quotations section, of course! To me, that section says more about you than any other thing you have listed on your profile.

What do your favorite quotes say about you? How have your favorite quotes changed over the years? And, if you collect quotes can you see the pattern? Can you tell exactly where you were and what events were shaping your life when you deemed a quote worthy enough to repost, save, favorite, etc.? A collection of favorite quotes are like keeping a diary that’s in a secret code only you and those who know you can decipher.

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By Vegasbab, February 19, 2011 6:56 pm

Every day, we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’re in good enough shape, we love our jobs, that we love the person we’re with, that the sex is great or that’s how it’s supposed to feel. In other words, we settle for what’s comfortable. We settle because we fear the unknown, we fear being alone. And most of all, we fear that what we’ve felt for so long is wrong. No one wants to admit that they were wrong about such life altering choices.

But, do living the lies stop us from being truly happy? Or do the lies make us happy? Or do the lies stop us from being our very best selves?

And, while you might think the truth, when you truly say it out loud to yourself, you can never, ever go back to the lie. And sometimes, realizing the truth and that you can’t go back hurts more than living the lie ever did.