Since I wrote about the Conference Man, it’s only fair that I write about the Conference Woman; I don’t want to seem sexist or anything like that. Like men, women love conferences for basically the same reasons – free booze, getting egos stroked, escaping from an overbearing boss, oh yeah, and maybe learning a few new things. So, let’s break down the Conference Woman:
- The Know It All. She is the person who grabs the microphone at every possibility. She goes on and on about the cool/perfect/correct things her team is doing and then finally gets to some convoluted question using really big words. By the second day of the conference, everyone in the audience groans inwardly and shakes their head when this person is handed the mic. (Note: This one can swing male or female.)
- The Inappropriate Woman. Similar to the male version, but she’s the one wearing the CFM boots, the mini skirt and insanely low cut shirt… all at the same time. If it’s not appropriate at the office, why would it be appropriate at a work event? While she might get more horizontal action, nobody respects her.
- The Desperate Slut. She leans a little too close to each guy she speaks to. She laughs a little too hard at Old Guy’s pitiful jokes. She pretends to be completely drunk and asks for help back to her room. Ultimately, she nabs a different Old Guy hook, line and sinker every night.
- The Laid Back Chick. This type is only infamous with the other women. Without a hint of makeup, she effortlessly has all the men hanging on her every word! Managing to command a presence in jeans, flip flops and a white T-shirt, she’s the envy of every woman in the room. Damn her!
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