Find Me
Anal Organization
Oldies But Goodies
More Stuff
Nonsense Notes
Whiskey Notes and Parachuting Fish
the ups-and-downs and sides-to-sides of the little things that make up life
I remember little about how we met – iMedia. I threw a business card at him and he said he was done hunting.
His first text to me? “Maybe I’m not wearing pants.”
iMedia again. The first time I had a flight that was delayed. He saw me, twirled me around and that night was the first and only picture we have together. The kiss? I remember it like yesterday. A flurry of white shirt as he swooped in. And after, me disappearing in the night. He said good morning to me the next day. Mojitos by the pool where he said he was amazed how well we “fit” and then an afternoon rendezvous. At the party someone asked if were married. The sparks just flew when we were together.
Las Vegas, DC, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Ft. Myers, San Diego. All amazing. Maybe because they weren’t real. Maybe it was the thrill of the chase, secret rendezvous never lasting for more then a few stolen moments.
Instant messages, text messages, video chats. It was the honeymoon phase. He would say, “I want you,” and “I hate myself because I think I could love you.” I laughed. It wasn’t real. It was simply a thrilling game. But then, he said it enough and I started to believe. And, I wanted to make it real. I wanted more.
I asked.
Months later I would learn he couldn’t see “the plan.” I could. To me, it was simple.
More months passed. Lives changed. And then, they changed again.
I asked again. I asked wrong. I pushed too hard.
While “the plan” may be different, I still see it. I worry that he can’t, yet he won’t ask. For he is always right. But what happens when you can’t see what is right in front of your face?
And the truth? Well, the truth is I am just a girl. Waiting for a chance. Just a chance- not a promise, or 100% investment. Just one real date where both parties keep an open mind, are willing to see things in a different light. In a light where anything is possible and grand gestures like this mean something.
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